Excuses… Excuses…. Ben Franklin and Buses….

“Any reason you’re driving so fast?” asked the police officer.

“Because that’s just as fast as it will go” 

Actually, I used this excuse THREE times over the years, and twice was rewarded for unvarnished honesty with a verbal warning.

In 1970 a Georgia sheriff turned me loose because “no judge would believe a VW bug would do 84 mph”. (It could if you fiddled with a few things)

A few years later I was driving an MC8 commuter coach governed at 64 mph on Interstate 80 in the middle of the Colorado prairie. The speed limit was 55, and the trooper, apparently constipated, ticketed me.

There’s a Collier County FL Sheriff's Deputy who can honestly say he stopped an Eagle demonstrator doing 96mph across Alligator Alley. It’s not certain whether the bus’s revolutionary technology, or his surprise at an actual honest answer did the trick… but he let my young stupid version go with a warning. 

Don’t try this at home folks.. a blown tire might have injured a TON of alligators.

Perhaps these were good moments as a humorist, but not my finest as a responsible citizen. It’s worth mentioning that all 3 instances were late at night, without passengers,  on deserted roads (an excuse?).

When I was in school, a teacher pointed out to my parents that “David would get better grades if he spent as much time on schoolwork as he does on creating excuses for avoiding it.” 

Benjamin Franklin famously said “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.”

He did NOT say it to my face so I’ve tried not to take that personally.

Excuses are fun, and I bet you’ve heard a ton of funny ones over the years.

"The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."
“I've used up all of my sick days so I'm calling in dead.” are a couple shamelessly lifted from www.you-can-be-funny.com/ and everyone reading this probably has heard (or created) some doozies.

Sometimes excuses are valid, like the time a coach was stopped in traffic near a blasting zone. Explosives launched a hundred pound rock vertically, and like a mortar round, it dropped through the bus's roof and landed between the feet of a young passenger. 

The bus drivers' explanation was pretty readily accepted. (less so the blasting contractor's).

Excuses can be amusing, even useful, but when we succumb to (paraphrasing a favorite customer) “believing our own bullpoopy" they become a problem.

Business is partially art, but it isn't "paint by the numbers". If it was that formulaic then no one would fail. Success is generally a mix of proven methods and vision. There are things like "cash flow" coupled with a visceral understanding of what customers and the market want.

In order to strike that balance, we need to be brutally honest with ourselves, and that means discounting excuses. If something isn't working, expending energy thinking up really good explanations... isn't going to help.

Sometimes we have really bad ideas, hire the wrong people, or make stinky decisions. Excuses, no matter how creative and entertaining... only delay the inevitable. It's like driving an overheating coach, tapping the temperature gauge, and imagining it dropping JUST a bit. Imagining won't save the engine.

It's OK to be gentle on the outside, but if a concept, person, or piece of equipment is failing, that needs to be recognized and dealt with. Warm and fuzzy excuses can be like a shock absorber, cushioning impact, but if you are sagging... you are sagging. A bad choice doesn't really care WHY it's a bad choice.

As a rule of thumb... the more effort involved in thinking up an explanation... the less valid it is. The driver of the bus hit by the boulder didn't have to think a lot... shortly after "WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?!?!" his excuse was fully formed.

Sometimes adjustments can alter the trajectory of an iffy decision. A bit of reflection and tinkering may be in order, but take care to recognize the line between giving something, or somebody, a fair shot... and creating excuses for failure. Beware the danger of letting either ego or emotion overpower your intellect in both making decisions and correcting errors.

Early Summer is a fun time to monitor marine radio. Lot's of folks have forgotten how to drive their boats over the winter.

One gentleman's vessel was slowly sinking off Gloucester, MA, and he was communing with the Coast Guard via radio. Actually, he was yelling, and the ever polite Coast Guardsman repeatedly asked "Captain, where are you? Captain, are there any landmarks nearby?" in an effort to know where to send help.

After half a dozen exchanges... the sinking boater broadcast " I AM NOT A CAPTAIN... I'm from New Jersey!"

Being from New Jersey isn't a good excuse for not knowing where you are... and take a tip from someone who has embarrassed himself at sea. Call for help on the cell phone... that way everyone within 50 miles isn't laughing at you.