I am NOT in Training

It was late on a November Tuesday in 1968, and my stomach hurt. I remember it clearly, because I was 600 miles from home, it’s the sickest I’d ever felt, AND it was the day Richard Nixon was elected.

Wednesday morning they yanked out my appendix and all was well. It may have been an omen for the Nixon presidency.

I was young and poor… so, a week later, when things seemed to have healed, I took out the stitches myself, rather than paying the surgeon.

Until then I’d never thought much about the appendix. (Actually, it didn’t come up until I needed a metaphor for this column).

It’s an organ that was useful a bazillion years ago, but now just lingers as decoration on the large intestine, with potential for creating pain.

Amtrak seems similar. In ye olden days, we needed nationwide passenger rail service. Roads were either poor or non-existent, and air travel was unreliable.

Do we still need it? Passenger trains are decorative, and proponents point out that most civilized nations offer passenger rail service.

With respect, is that reason enough to spend tons of money on a system that is less convenient, safe and efficient than the services provided by… you guessed it… the motorcoach industry? It’s OK for rail enthusiasts to love trains; it’s not OK for them to ask us to fund their hobby. Amtrak creates periodic pain without offering substantial benefit.

National defense no longer uses passenger rail to move the military. Coaches and airplanes do it better. In the event of a natural disaster, buses can detour in ways that are impossible for trains. A healthy intercity bus industry provides a national safety net in ways that trains can’t, while costing government nothing (and paying taxes).

Quoting Randall O’Toole in Intercity Buses, The Forgotten Mode: “Intercity buses carry at least 50 percent more passenger miles than Amtrak in Amtrak’s showcase Northeast Corridor. They do so with almost no subsidies and at fares that are about a third of Amtrak’s regular train fares. Intercity buses are safe and environmentally friendly, suffering almost 80 percent fewer fatalities per billion passenger miles than Amtrak and using 60 percent less energy per passenger mile than Amtrak.”

And that’s Amtrak’s showcase. Imagine what’s happening in the rest of country.

Demographics of motorcoach passengers have changed in recent years, in response to clever positioning by “curbside” carriers. College kids, older folk and business people are choosing coach travel because the “terminals” are close to where they want to be, because coaches provide the same amenities as passenger trains, and because coach rides are inexpensive.

Rail advocates point to traffic congestion. Modern communications help skirt road delays, while many Amtrak trains operate on track owned by commercial railroads, where freight trains have priority.

In the cosmic economic scheme of things Amtrak’s subsidy is small, but a billion here and there adds up. You could make the case that dollars spent boosting Amtrak produce waste in ways more significant than the subsidy. Private carrier’s pay taxes and fees that public entities don’t. All those are lost, in addition to the subsidy outlay.

The point here is not that Amtrak is evil; a giant waste of precious resources… but not evil. The point is that we have not adequately told our story.

They’re not our biggest competitor, but every bit counts. Amtrak is a symbol of government’s inability to scrap an idea that’s obsolete.

There has been tremendous growth in the number of people riding scheduled buses. Innovations in reservation technology, the comfort and amenities of coaches, and communications, make a motorcoach ride as “upscale” as a train trip, but we still bow to the romance of the rails.

The “curbside” phenomenon offers several opportunities. First, there are hundreds of routes that aren’t yet being operated, waiting for someone to give them a try. Some will succeed, others fail. The key seems to be finding the right routes, and being frank about what works.

There may be a silver lining in this silver cloud. Millions of folks are being exposed to modern coaches on these line runs. There’s no reason those happy experiences shouldn’t translate into them trying us for charters and tours.

Mr. O’Toole calls us “The Forgotten Mode” even while singing our praises. There aren’t enough resources in our industry to mount a major media campaign, but we can certainly be proud of what we do, and try to leverage this phenomenon into a new image for our industry. We’ve improved to the point that we’re viewed as a hidden treasure, a step in the right direction, but not enough.

Now may be a fine time for an Amtrak appendectomy. If Congress is REALLY looking for ways to save money, it’s a good start. I’m willing to remove the stitches.